Be Careful What You Wish For

It comes as no surprise to those of you who've known me for more than five minutes that I'm spending more time on the throne these days, which means I've been able to catch up on those teetering towers of magazines that have piled up over the last few months.

In the past week I have read not one but two stories in Self about women who were suffering from either a mysterious disease or a known disease that had gone undiagnosed for several years (Morgellons and Lyme disease, respectively).

Both of these women were quoted as saying something to the effect of "I wish I had cancer, then people would believe me/we would know what is wrong with me/etc."

These crazy bitches have obviously never had cancer or known anyone with cancer. I would gladly explain to them at great length and great volume how fucking nuts they are for having said this.