Unsuccessfully dodging red cards on the soccer pitch of life.
Hooray! If there was any way to bequeath you all of mine, I'd do it in an instant. Give 'em to somebody who wants 'em. :)
Too bad there's no Freecycle/Craigslist for this kinda stuff: "Free: lifetime supply of eggs," "One uterus, free to good home," etc. :)